Dear Whomever
by LovelyMagickUnicorn
Summary: Everybody wants to fit in. Lucy Quinn Fabray is no exception. She just wants to be popular, but it's not that easy. Diary-fic
1. Chapter 1

AN: I've recently watched "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and watching that made me start reading the book with which it was based on and reading that inspired (only in writing style) this fic. Continuation is primarily based on it's reception. (Only primarily, there are other factors to consider) Though you should know that while this one-shot/potential beginning chapter is comprised of only diary entries any potential future chapters may include various other forms of written word (ex: texts, Facebook, etc)

Oh, and one more thing if this is continued, it probably won't follow canon.

* * *

September 8, 2008

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day of high school. It was both thrilling and terrifying. I don't know anyone at McKinley High which means I'm probably going to have to spend the first few weeks by myself, not that that's much of a change from middle school I guess, but here I at least have a fresh start. I can reinvent myself and hopefully I'll be able to make a friend.

There's this one girl in school, Rachel Berry, that I think would make a good friend. I know she's smart because out of the five classes that we share together three are honors classes. She's also a lot more energetic about school than most teenagers would be. You know how some teacher's like to start off a new year by having everyone introduce themselves? Well, while most everyone just said a few little details, Rachel had this whole speech prepared.

It was pretty long but so far I've gathered that she a) loves to sing b) idolizes Barbra Streisand c) uses gold stars as a metaphor for herself d) dreams of one day staring on Broadway e) has an interesting taste in clothing and e) talks a lot. That last two are just observations. Not that I mind. It was actually kind of cute how she ranted on and on, and at least she's got some sense of where she's going in life and she's passionate about it.

Thing is, despite my goal of becoming popular in high school, I haven't mustered up the courage to go up and talk to her. I guess it's like they say. Old habits die hard. It's a shame really. Like me, Rachel sits alone at lunch. I guess she doesn't know anyone here too. I'm sure she'd enjoy some company, and I know she wouldn't turn down the opportunity to talk about herself some more. Regardless, I'm too much of a coward to approach her.

Hopefully it'll be easier to do so if I make the cheerleading squad. I signed up for try-outs. Lima may be a small, little town that no one knows about but the cheerleading squad here in McKinley is another story entirely. The Cheerios are world renowned champs, and it's also my best shot at becoming popular.

I hope you don't think I'm being too snobby. It's not like I'm trying to be popular because I think I'm better than everyone or anything like that. It's just that, I hated how I felt when I wasn't popular. My sister was popular when she was in high school, and she always looked happy. I just want to be able to feel that way.

Well it's starting to get late so goodnight,

Lucy Quinn Fabray

* * *

September 18, 2008

Dear Diary,

So it's the second week of school and I still don't have a friend. I was planning on talking to Rachel the other day, but then I overheard something in the hallway. Apparently Rachel has two dads, and I don't mean that she has a biological dad and a step-dad or something like that. I mean she has two dads who are married to each other.

I didn't know if it was true, so I did a little snooping around her locker. I was able to see pictures of her and two men taped to the inside. It's not really proof I suppose, but she did also have a rainbow flag inside her locker as well. I suppose it's not any of my business, and I don't see how having gay parents should affect anything but I don't think being friends with her is really much of an option anymore.

My father would never approve if he found out. He always said that the most heinous crime a man could commit would be to lie in bed with another man and that by doing so one would sentence themself to hell. He'd probably think of Rachel as being the spawn of The Devil himself.

Of course Rachel's far too sweet to be anything like that. But I guess it doesn't really matter what I think. I can just be thankful that Rachel doesn't have it anywhere as bad as I used to in middle school. But I should probably stop thinking about her anyway.

Tryouts are next week. I'm nervous. And the stuff I overhear about Sue Sylvester, the cheer coach, isn't helping. The way people talk about her you'd think she was a madman, or madwoman, I suppose. I'm pretty sure everyone's just exaggerating how bad she is, but what if they're not? But they have to be, right? I hope they are.

Wish me luck,

Lucy Quinn Fabray

* * *

September 23, 2008

Dear Diary,

Remember what I said last week about Sue Sylvester? Well I can confirm, the woman is nuts. I question the judgment of whomever it was that decided that it was a good idea to give that woman a job. But I guess I should have expected this considering McKinley's poor excuse for a Spanish teacher. I can't really judge since I don't take his class, but I am glad that I'm taking French instead.

But anyway, I was talking about Sue. I'm not exactly thrilled with the concept of her being the cheer coach, but she did like me… I think. I'm scared. There were tons of girls at auditions. It seemed almost like the entirety of the female student body was there. Expect maybe Rachel, but I guess cheerleading wouldn't be her kind of thing anyway. I kind of envy how she doesn't care about this kind of stuff. I wish I was more like her.

I'm getting off track again though. Like I was saying, every girl in the school seemed to be there. A lot of them were plain looking, but there were some of them that were just… gorgeous. Drop dead gorgeous. I don't know how I can compete. Well okay, I guess I can compete in terms of experience since I've taken ballet classes and done some gymnastics but it's not like I've ever cheered before in my life.

Either way, it's out of my hands now. I should be able to find out my fate soon, but right now I'm thinking it's kind of a lose-lose situation. Right now I'm looking through alternatives if I don't get in. There are tons of other clubs or activities that I can join, and this is kind of funny but Rachel's like in every one. Crazy, right?

And that's the second time that I've mentioned her tonight. What is wrong with me? I think I need a break. I'll update you later when I find out whether or not I made the cut for the squad.

Lucy Quinn Fabray

* * *

September 26, 2008

Dear Diary,

I made the squad! Can you believe it? And I even made some friends. Their names are Brittany and Santana. They're both freshmen like me and we're three of the only freshmen to join the Cheerios. Knowing that makes me feel proud. I'd write more, but my Dad wants to take us out to celebrate.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

October 14, 2008

Dear Diary,

Things have been great, exhausting, but great. All practices are mandatory and take place both in the morning and after school. The diet that all Cheerios are required to participate in is… truth be told, I don't know what it is. And to top it all of Coach makes sure to degrade us at any given opportunity.

I know that sounds horrible, but it's the price to pay. The perks are so worth it. I know all the other current Cheerios now, and I'm friends with most of them even though I mostly hang out with Santana and Brittany. They're great and both really know their way around boys.

Speaking of which, they're actually starting to pay attention to me. The boys, that is, not Brittany and Santana. It's a new thing for me. Before the boys only made fun of me because of my… well, it's nice to know that some things change.

I don't have my eye on any specific boy right now which Santana says is a good thing. I don't know if should listen to her when it comes to these kinds of things. It's true that Santana knows more about relationships than I do, then again most people do since I've never had a boyfriend, but Santana seems to be a short term kind of girl and I want something more than that.

Brittany understands what I'm talking about, and I think she's already found that special someone. Thing is, she'll never talk about who it is. All I know is that whoever it is has to someone really special. If you know Brittany, then you know that she lives in a world full of rainbows and butterflies and unicorns and everything else that makes the world bright.

Not just anyone would be good enough for Britt. I wonder who it could be.

I kind of doubt that I'll find my special someone here in McKinley. Like I said, I'm not interested in any particular boy. But the truth is that I'm not that interested in any boy. Sure I enjoy the attention that they've been giving me, but that's about it. It's probably nothing. I'll just keep my eyes out. You never know, I might just run into the love my life tomorrow.

Probably not, but a girl can dream.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

October 15, 2008

Dear Diary,

I didn't really feel like writing this, and I'm questioning whether or not I should even continue writing this. It's just that I feel really bad about what I did. I didn't even do it on purpose. It was an accident, really it was. But the worst part is that I didn't even get a chance to apologize. And I know I shouldn't worry about this since I have friends now everything, but I can't help it.

I guess you're wondering what I'm talking about.

It was at lunch and a couple of Cheerios and I had gone out to get some decent food to eat. I know, I know. I have a diet that I have to abide by if I want to stay on the Cheerios, but if you have any idea what it's been like then you'd have gone too. But that's not important anyway so I'll skip ahead.

So, we're back at school and we're heading to the cafeteria. We've already eaten our food so all we have left are our drinks, slushies to be precise. Mine was mostly still full since I didn't really want one but everyone else was getting one so I decided to get one too. Anyway, we're about to turn a corner when someone calls out my name. Naturally, I turned to see who it was but stupidly I kept walking.

Then I bumped into Rachel… and accidentally spilt my slushie all over her. And then everyone started laughing, and Rachel started crying and then she ran away. I wanted to chase after her and say that I was sorry, but I couldn't. I was afraid. The other Cheerios seemed to think that I had done it on purpose and they were taunting Rachel, saying things like how the blue stains on her animal sweater made it less sickening to look at.

I actually like Rachel's animal sweaters, and her knee socks, and her argyle, and her headbands.

I guess my friends don't. I guess they don't like Rachel at all. Because that should have been the end of it, but a couple of them decided that it'd be good idea to follow Rachel into the restroom while she tried to clean up and make fun of her some more. I couldn't.

I feel awful, and I don't even know what the worst part about all this is. I wonder if Frannie had to deal with things like this. Regardless of whether she did or didn't, I know that she'd know what to do. I wish she were here now. I could always talk to her about stuff, not like the friends I have now. I think I'll trying calling her tomorrow.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

AN: So, how'd you like it? I don't know, I think I'm currently in a state of experimenting with my writing right now. It's fun, but it starts far too many potential projects.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So, this didn't get exactly the kind of response that I was hoping for, which is part of the reason why I didn't update it sooner. But a recent review brought me back to this so I decided to give it another shot. My expectations are lower this time, but I still have certain hopes that I'd like to reach to convince me to continue.

* * *

October 18, 2008

Dear Diary,

So far I'd had little luck in trying to talk to my sister. She's been really busy with school and work. Thus far I'd gotten her voicemail dozens of times and only reached her once. We didn't get to talk long but she did say that she'd visit during Christmas and maybe even Thanksgiving. But by then it'll probably be too late to figure out a solution to my situation.

Though I doubt there's anything that either one of us could really do to fix things. Since my accident with Rachel, slushing has become the most popular form of bullying. I try to tell myself that it could be worse, but then I remember that the entire school has me to blame for this whole thing and I end up feeling like shit.

And the fact that Coach Sylvester actually praised for "keeping the status quo" doesn't help at all. She even went on to say that if I kept up the good work then I'd likely take over as captain next year. I'd be honored over such a privilege if didn't involve me becoming the very thing I despised the most. But everyone's so proud of me. I hate it.

I also hate how I can't seem to stop paying attention to Rachel. I've noticed that she's started bringing an extra set of clothes to school nowadays. Doesn't take a genius to figure out why. And since I'm not going to get a chance to my sister for at least a month, I've decided that I'm going to go to talk to her. Apologize. It might be a little too late for that, but I'd feel better if she at least knew the truth.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

October 20, 2008

Dear Diary,

I managed to corner Rachel in the restroom. She was a bit defensive and I can't blame her, but I think she believed me when I told her that the whole thing the other day had been a huge accident. At least I hope she did. Didn't really help me feel any better though. Maybe it'll take a while and I did what I could so I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I have Cheerios practice to worry about anyway. The football team has a big game this weekend and we, the cheerleaders, need to keep the crowd motivated. Seriously, we do. I haven't actually mentioned this before but our football team, they kinda… suck. But don't let anyone know I said that. Half the squad is dating someone from the team. Totally clichéd, right? But I guess that's how things go sometimes.

Anyway the point is that I can't say anything bad about them and I have to cheer them on no matter how much they suck. Makes me kind of glad to not be dating one of them. The girls that are end up having to console them after each loss. But like I said, I need to practice.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

October 25, 2008

Hey Diary,

Remember how I said the team was bad, well… they're worse. The game didn't start out that bad. The Titans were able to have a decent return, but everything went downhill after the first play on offense. They went for a running play and seconds after the halfback gets the ball, he drops it for a fumble and gives the other team a touchdown.

I couldn't bear to watch any more of it. It's not like I'm an expert on the game or anything, but I'm pretty sure that I could have played it better than they did. No need to dwell on it though, especially since Halloween is just around the corner. I'm not really sure what I should dress as. When you're a kid, Halloween is a chance to be whatever you want to be. As a teen, it's a chance for girls to dress like sluts without being judged for it. It's even harder to make up my mind since someone is supposedly going to be throwing this big party.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be invited. I guess it would make sense if I was, but I'm not going to get my hopes up in case I'm not.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

October 26, 2008

Dear Diary,

So its official, I'm going to be attending my first every high school party. Technically it's also my first party ever, but nobody has to know that. And it's probably better if nobody does know that. I'm going to go with Santana and Brittany. We haven't agreed yet on what we're going to go as, but right now it looks like a competition between Charlie's Angels and The Powerpuff Girls.

I'm leaning towards the Powerpuff Girls myself, but that's probably because Brittany already showed me the costume I'd be wearing for Blossom and with it comes this cute super-sized bow. Santana's against it since she wants to go as something sexy, but she's got a soft spot for Brittany. She'll back sooner or later. Hopefully sooner since we've got less than a week to get ready.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

November 1, 2008

Yesterday was… well, it was fun but… I don't know. I guess I felt a little out of place. More so when Santana and Brittany disappeared somewhere. After that I was mostly alone for the rest of the night and even though I knew most of the people there I didn't know any of them well enough to talk with them. And it didn't help when Puck started checking me out.

Noah Puckerman, better known simply as Puck, was the one throwing the party. He's a second year sophomore who is very likely going to held back another year. Half the squad swears that he's some sort of sex god, the other half warn me to stay away from him. I chose to listen to the latter and so I wasn't even aware that his eyes were anywhere near me. But considering the rumors of how he makes it his personal mission to sleep with the entire cheerleading squad, I wouldn't be surprised if he was. Frankly, I'd rather not have his attention. Some of my squad mates on the other hand would kill to get his attention.

I'm pretty sure I don't have to spell it out for you, but I'll do it anyway. They got pretty jealous. Hopefully they'll cool down over the weekend. It's not like I even want to be another one of his stupid one-night stands anyway. I've told you before. I want something deeper than that. So far I haven't found many eligible bachelors.

Okay, that's a total lie. There are plenty guys that are available. And most of, if not all of, the single freshman are interested in me. Or at least I think they are. They flirted with me at least… not that I would know what flirting actually looks like. But ignore that. Because, hypothetically speaking, if they were interested in me then I'd have plenty of options. But I don't find any of them too appealing.

Take for example Finn Hudson. He's the quarterback, and thus captain, of our mediocre football team. He seems sweet enough, and he's got this goofy looking grin which most girls find endearing and even cute, but when I look at his grin I can't help but think that he's constipated. And he's not that bright either. Maybe I'm being too harsh on him, but I just can't figure out why other girls swoon over him.

Maybe it's the fact that he's the quarterback. I'd be lying if I said that I never dreamed about dating the star quarterback while in high school. I guess every girl dreams about that when they're young. I'm starting to get kind of sleepy. Mom and Dad are probably going to get mad once they find out how long I stayed out, but ignoring the part when left me to fend for myself the trouble will be totally worth it.

Oh, but one more thing. We ended up going as the Powerpuff Girls. I'm still wearing my oversized bow. So happy!

Goodnight,

Quinn Fabray

* * *

November 3, 2008

Dear Diary,

So things have gone back to normal and the squad isn't bitching at me because I got some attention from Puck. But going back to normal means facing reality again. And the reality of things is that one night of fun doesn't help me forget about Rachel. She seems to be okay despite the slushies, but it's hard to tell some times. She's tougher than I was when I was being bullied. I envy her for that.

I hope I can be as brave as her one day. But for now I'm just trying to avoid Puck. Apparently, he still has his eye out for me. I tried to turn him down as politely as I could, but I don't think he's going to settle for a rejection and he seems convinced that I'm just playing hard to get. I wouldn't even know where to start playing hard to get.

He's really starting to bug me. Him and his bad boy attitude. If he's really the best that this school has to offer than I guess I'm not getting a boyfriend anytime soon. That kind of puts a damper on my Prom Queen dreams, but I don't have to worry about that for a couple more years so I'm okay for now. Besides, I'm probably not going to win Prom Queen anyway. I'm most popular amongst the Cheerios, but Santana is favored by majority of the guys at the school.

Speaking of Santana, something between her and Brittany is… different. I've already told you that Santana has a soft spot for Brittany. Don't worry, that's still the same, at least for the most part. Santana still pretty much listens to everything that Brittany says, but something just feels off. I can't put my finger on it though. Maybe they had some sort of fight? I'll keep an eye on them. I wouldn't want my two best friends fighting. Hopefully it's nothing.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

November 12, 2008

Hey Diary,

Okay so, I'm still not sure if Santana and Brittany did have a fight but either way they're having one now. It's mostly because Santana has been hanging around Puck. Remember how I said that he had an eye for me? Yeah, well he got tired after a while and moved on to Santana. Unlike me, Santana didn't turn down his advances. Brittany didn't like that for reasons that I can only guess are similar to my own.

I talked to Santana about it, about how she's hurting Brittany's feelings. She was clearly upset and she said that she'd talk to Britt about it, but I don't think she's going to break off her friendship with Puck. I guess that I should be grateful that they're not dating or anything, but then again neither of them seem to be the dating type. I'll keep you updated.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

November 13, 2008

Dear Diary,

So Santana apologized to Brittany for ignoring her in favor of spending time with Puck. Brittany wasn't completely overjoyed when she learned that we'd still have to share her with him, but our friendship is secure once more. The Unholy Trinity, some of older Cheerios call us. I can make a guess as to what would makes us so 'Unholy' but I'd rather not say.

But what I will say is that with our trio, we're guaranteed to hit the top of the social food chain. I know, I probably shouldn't worry too much about that because I'm already in with the popular crowd, but maybe… I don't know, maybe if I end up being Queen Bee then I'll have enough pull to get everyone to stop bullying people. And I know what you're thinking, this is about Rachel, but it's not okay? It's not about Rachel.

Okay, maybe it's a little bit about Rachel. But that's only because the idea of doing it for her makes me feel a little brave.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

AN: So, what do ya think? I would like to continue, but want to know that a good amount of people actually want me to. Realize though, that I would have to rethink the overall plot since I've forgotten where I was originally headed with this.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Well it looks like I'm still going to try putting work into this. I actually had a dream the other night about they last entry in this fic. I'm going to say anything about it, as I am not sure if I want it to be my ending, but if I do choose to use it I can say that it's very emotional.

* * *

November 16, 2008

Hey Diary,

So I just had my first official sleepover. It was just a small, little thing. Me, Santana and Brittany. At first Santana was reluctant, saying that sleepovers were lame and only for kids. She's always like that, but she doesn't really mean it. She even had fun, not that she'll admit it. It's just that she always feels like she has to be a tough bitch. We're alike in that way I guess since we both feel the need to blend in and conform, but I don't think she needs to try that hard, at least not as hard as I do.

It even took her a while to tone it down when it was just the three of us. But she started to relax as the night wore on, even took part in our impromptu karaoke/dance-off. Don't ask me how it started. Just know that it was fun. Brittany's an awesome dancer and Santana… Santana's got pipes. I had no idea. She totally blew me out of the water.

But hey, I only ever sing in the shower. It's not like it was fair or anything. And with Brittany's vote, she would have won anyway. Little cheaters. Just kidding. But they kinda do cheat, if only voting for each other counts as cheating that is. Okay, so that's not actually cheating but still. Oh, I think they're waking up. I'd tell you more, but I should probably put you away.

Quinn Fabray

November 18, 2008

Hey Diary,

So it's about a week before Thanksgiving and we just heard from Frannie. Unfortunately, she won't be able to visit, which sucks. I understand though. She's busy with school and work and well… living life. She used to talk about that a lot back when she was still living at home. Like everybody else that's ever been born in Lima, Frannie dreamed about making it out of this smalltime town. She was one of the lucky ones.

And to make things even better, Sue has decided that for us to show how "thankful" we are for being part of the Cheerios, we can show up to extra optional mandatory practices. Yeah, I don't really understand the "optional mandatory" part either, but I'm pretty sure I know what she means. Sometimes I really hate that woman.

Quinn Fabray

November 26, 2008

Hey Diary,

Just checking in. Wanted you to know that I'm still alive. Barely alive, but alive. I think I'm going to take a nap now.

November 26, 2008

Hey Diary,

Sorry for almost drooling on you. I was just really exhausted. Thankfully, that was the last of the extra optional mandatory practices. My limbs feel like they're about to fall off. I probably shouldn't even be writing right now, but I had to share this with you. I just heard the most amazing thing ever.

It was after practice. I had just finished taking a super long shower and was walking out to the front of the building where my mom would pick me up. Although, the word limping would be a more accurate word. Anyway, I was on my way outside when I heard singing. I was near the choir room so it totally made sense and there was nothing really out of the ordinary.

But this voice, this voice was anything but ordinary. It was angelic and like a siren's song, it drew me in until I found myself pushing the door open to take a peek inside. I didn't even realize what I was doing until I was staring at Rachel. She's amazing. Even better than Santana. I know she told everyone that she likes to sing and that she posts videos of herself on her Myspace, but I until then I had actually never heard her sing.

Rachel's voice is probably the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I couldn't help but just stay and watch and listen. After a while she turned in my direction and I quickly closed the door. I don't know if she saw me, and if she did, she didn't follow me out. I'm pretty sure I was watching her for a while, which makes me feel like some kind of weird stalker, and that's the last thing Rachel needs.

Though mom didn't say anything about long it took me to get to her. I guess she thought that practice went a little later than usual, which it often does. Anyway, Rachel's really talented. It's a shame that Mr. Ryerson won't let her be the lead in Glee Club. I'd like to say that it's because she's only a freshman, but I'm pretty sure he's just playing favorites. Totally not fair.

But yeah, that's about everything I've got to say for today. I'm just gonna go sleep right now.

Quinn Fabray

December 12, 2008

Hey Diary,

It's been a while hasn't it? The past couple weeks have been pretty uneventful, did most of the usual stuff. Went to practices. Hung out with Santana and Brittany. Got invited to another party, but didn't go this time. Seems like Puck will find any reason to throw a party. I hear he's even going to throw a Christmas party. In case I haven't told you this, which I probably haven't, he's Jewish. He doesn't even celebrate Christmas.

I'm definitely not going to go to that party either, especially since Frannie should come home this time. Anyway, there's not really much to say. The Titans are still losing. Sue's still a tyrant. I'm still single, which still bothers me but not as much as before. And slushies are still a thing. I was kind of hoping that it'd just be a fad and that it would fade. Not that lucky.

Quinn Fabray

December 18, 2008

Hey Diary,

Not much going on but I wanted to tell you that today is Rachel's birthday. You might be wondering why I know that. Well, I've been browsing around her Myspace page. I'm guessing that you saw that coming. I've developed kind of a girl crush on her. I've watched each of her videos at least twice and they still take my breath away. And to answer your question, yes that does mean that I'm still re-watching them.

It's really sad that they didn't have any views before me. I mean it. Each of them had zero views before I clicked on them. And this might sound kind of weird, but I'm kind of glad that I'm the only one that's seen these videos. Let me explain. I enjoy knowing that I'm the first one to see and hear these videos and knowing that I'm the only one, besides her family, that know how amazing she is.

I dropped off a present for her. I rode my bike over to her house, placed the present on her doorstep, rang the doorbell and then rode off as fast as I could. I got her a sweater. One to replace the one I ruined. Well, it's not exactly ruined. Rachel still wears it, and it looks fine, but that's not the point. I still felt bad about what happened so I wanted to make up for it.

Hm, reading that back it almost sounds like I'm trying to buy my forgiveness. But that's not the case, I can assure you of that. I just wanted to do something nice for her. I hope she likes it, and I hope I got her the right size. I did get her a gift receipt, but I don't want her to have to use it.

Quinn Fabray

December 19, 2008

She was wearing it! She was wearing it! I got the right size and she looked so happy. And best of all, she didn't get slushied. I have no idea why I'm so excited. I really like her smile. It's just so warm and bright and it makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

December 20, 2008

Hey Diary,

Just wanted to tell you that today is officially the first day of Winter Break. Now, I'm going to go outside and make snow angels in the backyard.

Quinn Fabray

December 24, 2008

Hey Diary,

It's Christmas Eve. And Frannie's home, but that's not that important. I know, I know. I was complaining about how she wasn't around before, but it's Christmas. Or at least it's almost Christmas. It's the happiest time of the year. Like every Christmas Eve I helped Mom bake Christmas cookies, which I'm eating now while I stay up to watch Christmas specials.

My personal favorite is "A Christmas Carol" and it's many different variations. Right now I'm watching the Flintstones version. Although I'm not really watching since I'm writing in you. But sometimes I don't always watch things, especially if I've seen them before. Sometimes, I just listen to them. I pretend like they're those old time radio shows. It's pretty fun.

It's pretty late right now, but that just means that I have only a few hours left until I can open my presents. I could actually open them now since I know that neither of my parents nor Frannie would wake up anytime soon, but that would just be wrong. Speaking of Frannie, I finally was able to talk to her. It was a real good talk too, like the ones we used to have back before she went off to college.

I filled her in with everything that's been going on. I told her about getting on the Cheerios, and about Sue, and my friends Brittany and Santana. I even mentioned Puck and his unwanted advances, and how I've been having problems finding a nice boy to date. She told me not to worry, and that I shouldn't force it and how I should enjoy being single. After that I told her that I kind of was enjoying being single, it's just that I don't want to end up like Drew Berrymore in "Never Been Kissed"

Typically Frannie teased me a bit. But then we got to more serious topics, the rampant amount of slushie facials which all stem from me and Rachel. When it came to the slushies, Frannie only reminded me of what I already knew, that it wasn't on purpose and that what everyone else does isn't my fault. It helped, hearing someone else say it, but it still didn't fix anything.

And then she started asking me a lot of questions about Rachel, and she didn't even explain to me why. But she kept giving me this look like she knew something that I didn't. Frannie is such a weirdo sometimes, which isn't really a bad thing because if she wasn't then I'd never get into comics. But anyway, I don't what she was trying to figure out. After she was done with the interrogation, she hugged me and just told me to watch out for Rachel.

And right before she went to her room she gave me some really vague advice about relationships. She told me, and I quote, "Maybe you're looking in the wrong place sis, maybe the person you're looking for is right in front of your face and you just can't see them." Total weirdo. And that better not have been a joke about my eyesight. I can see just fine without my glasses… as long as I have my contacts.

I'm still thankful for her help, even if her help didn't do anything. And I'm really grateful that she didn't judge me for not sticking up for Rachel right from the beginning. I had expected her to be disappointed in me. But of course she wasn't. Always the supportive big sister. I'm really lucky to have her. But enough about her.

I know for a fact that she knows about you, and that she tries to sneak looks into you when she knows I'm not around. I don't need to go giving her a big head. She's already stubborn enough as is. Yeah sis, I'm talking to you. Now get out of my diary.

Still love you.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

AN: It's kind of funny how this chapter ended on Christmas Eve because I might become a Christmas Elf. There's going to be a Santa over at mall downtown, and I saw a job ad online. It didn't exactly say if you'd be a Christmas Elf, but since you'd be helping Santa I can only assume that you would be. Anyway, the guy who's hiring these helpers (Christmas Elves) contacted me the other day and wants to step up a face to face interview.

I'm really excited. Me, a Christmas Elf. Wish me luck.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hey everybody! I've been busy and I don't know when I last update so I don't know if I should apologize or not.

* * *

December 26, 2008

Hey Diary,

Christmas was great, as usual. Also as usual, Frannie got me the best gift. She got me a copy of every issue for the Batman R.I.P. story arc. She always messes with me about how often I read my comics, which is funny coming from her. Mom and Dad gave me the usual stuff, clothes and money. I appreciate what they got me and I did get a nice dress from them, but I like buying my own clothes. Sometimes it feels like they don't know me at all.

I still love them though, and we did have a lot of fun. We made a snowman family and then afterwards I went out to see Brittany and Santana. The three of us met up with the rest of the Cheerios and from there we ended up getting in a snowball fight with the football team. I'll give you three tries to guess who won. Yeah, I know. Kinda sad, isn't it? Now I know firsthand why they lose so much. Maybe Sue should take over for Coach Tanaka, but the boys probably wouldn't last a day under her.

I hate to sound mean but that would be pretty fun to watch. I wouldn't really want that to happen though, expect maybe for a few of them. But now's not the time for thoughts like that. I'm going to be meeting up with Brittany and Santana again later, and we're going to try and find a good hill to use Brittany's sled on, but before that I think I'm going to try interrogating Frannie about why she kept asking me questions about Rachel. Something about that keeps bothering me.

Quinn Fabray

December 27, 2008

Frannie's a jerk. She kept saying that she was just that she wanted to know about my new friend. Rachel's not even my friend. I would like her to be my friend. I really would. She's really nice even though refuse to it and I know that we'd get along, but you know… and it's complicated. She'd understand if she knew. Maybe I should have told her everything.

Let's just forget about that.

Anyway, we did manage to find a good hill yesterday for Brittany's sled, a bit too good actually. We all rode on at the same time. At first it was fine but then we started picking up speed. We couldn't control it and we almost crashed. It was fun, but really scary. We all screamed so loud. Of course Santana ended up denying that she did. Neither Brittany nor I actually saw her scream since she was sitting furthest back but we both know better.

Afterwards we went Breadsticks. It's Santana's favorite place to eat, although she mostly just eats the breadsticks. I just had a salad. We still have plenty of leftovers from Christmas. We're hanging out again tomorrow, but we haven't planned what we're going to do. Myself, I'd like to go ice skating.

Quinn Fabray

January 1, 2009

Happy New Year Diary,

New Year's is always so amazing, isn't it? I'm pretty sure you can guess, but I watched the fireworks with Santana and Brittany. Well, I went out with them at least. They kinda disappeared when the fireworks went off and everyone started sharing a New Year's kiss. Now I know, I said that I was okay with being single. But when you're surrounded by people making out and you're the only one standing around doing nothing. Well… it makes you feel kind of lonely.

It might make me feel better if I at least knew where Santana and Brittany disappear off to all the time. I guess I could just ask them. I think I'll do that. Anyway it's kind of late, or early depending on how you look at things, so I'm just going to go sleep.

Quinn Fabray

January 5, 2009

First Day Back in School Diary,

And as much I loved winter break, I'm really glad to be back. I'm such a nerd sometimes, aren't I? Just don't tell anybody. But I guess people can figure that out themselves, especially considering my 4.0 GPA. I know it's kind of early, but I'm really hoping to be valedictorian when I graduate as well as Prom Queen. Smart and beautiful. A perfect combination, don't cha thing?

Sorry to cut this short, but I hear the doorbell. It's probably Brittany. She's coming over to watch the latest episode of One Tree Hill.

Quinn Fabray

January 12, 2009

Hey Diary,

So ended up joining a club, but not just any club. I joined the Celibacy Club. It feels right since I am planning to wait, but I kind of had an ulterior motive for joining. I know this might sound kind of weird but I'm trying to keep boys away from me. Does that sound as bad as I think it does?

I don't know. I used to appreciate the attention that they gave to me, but like I said before I'm just not interested in any of them. Not to mention that most of them just want to get into my pants. The other day Finn tried to grab my ass! I caught him before he got a chance to though. Afterwards he apologized and told that it was just part of some dare. Stupid boys.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother, but hopefully I can meet someone a bit more mature at Celibacy Club. There's a meeting in a couple of days so I'll keep you updated.

Quinn Fabray

January 15, 2009

Hey Diary,

Guess who's in Celibacy Club? If you guessed Rachel, you guessed right. I probably should have seen this coming. I mean, I did say that she was a part of every club. It's just I didn't realize that she was a part of every club. I could tell that she was pretty surprised to see me, but then she smiled this mega-watt smile that made me feel all warm inside.

I don't know if she was genuinely glad to see me or if she was just being friendly, but I'm hoping for the former. I think this is a good opportunity to get to know her better so long as she lets me. We didn't do much this meeting. I introduced myself and everyone in turn introduced themselves to me. Again Rachel gave a longwinded speech which everyone, except for me, got a bit annoyed by.

I not really sure, but it may the same exact one she gave on the first day of school. It would be kind of adorable if it was. But yeah, after introductions we went over ways to resist the urge of having sex. Next week we're supposed to do some sort of activities. What kind, I have no idea.

Quinn Fabray

January 20, 2009

Hey Diary,

So far my plan has only half worked. I didn't think things completely through. Some guys have taken the hint, but other guys seem to appreciate the challenge of trying to get a girl in the Celibacy Club. It's not any worse than before though, so I can't complain even though I kind of am. Although, I have noticed that the rest of the Cheerios are a tad negative with my supposed new-found abstinence.

I know that I never bragged about being a virgin but I know that I've talked to the other girls before about how I'm waiting for the right person. Clearly they don't know me at all. Of course Brittany was supportive and Santana made a crude comment about how it was a shame that I'm putting my body to waste. But I know that that was just her way of telling me that she has my back.

It's nice having some real friends, not that I don't appreciate you Diary. Just remember that I've shared everything with you Diary. I haven't done the same with Santana, Brittany, or even Frannie. Though I have shared everything with Lambchop too, but Lambchop is special, you know that. But don't forget that you're special too.

Quinn Fabray

January 25, 2009

Hey Diary,

Guess what day it is? Of course you already know. It's my birthday! But I know something you won't be able to guess. You know what my Dad got me? Guess, go ahead, guess. He got me a car! He got me a red Volkswagen Bug! It's so cute! I totally take back what I said around Christmas about my parents not knowing me. This is the best gift ever! I'm going to show it off to Brittany and Santana later since the two of them are going to help me celebrate. A car. Can you believe it? A car.

Quinn Fabray

January 29, 2009

Hey Diary,

So not that many people are actually jealous of my car, but that doesn't stop me from feeling all giddy about it. I was probably giggling all day long. Rachel even complimented my car during our Celibacy Club meeting. She thinks it's cute too. And then the rest of the club started discussing my car.

We don't really do much in Celibacy Club. It's a pretty chill place, but I've had zero luck in finding a nice sweet guy in there. There aren't many guys in the club to begin with. Actually, for one of the activities, I got paired up with Rachel since we have an uneven number of boys and girls. We had to slow dance with a balloon in between us. It was weird. The balloon that is. Dancing with Rachel, that actually felt kind of nice.

But back to the topic of my car. She's been great. I love her so much, and she's made it so much easier to get home since I don't have to wait for my Mom anymore. It is a bit expensive to take care of her though, but she's so worth it. I love my car.

Quinn Fabray

February 6, 2009

Hey Diary,

I'm kind of feeling blue again. It's a lot easier feeling okay about being single when you're not surrounded by happy couples, and with Valentine's just a week away, that's exactly what I've surrounded by. Everywhere I look there are heart-shaped balloons, or teddy bears, boxes of chocolates, roses, or whatever else guys can think of.

So far I've tried focusing my attention on Santana. She has a bit of an admirer. A real romantic by the looks of it. He's been breaking into Santana's locker each day for the whole week to leave her gifts and apparently he plans to keep doing so until Valentine's Day. I am so freaking jealous and what's worse is that Santana won't even let me read the cards that come with her gifts.

Brittany's been really happy too so I'm guessing that she's gotten something from that boy she likes. I still have no idea who he is. I've tried using my detective skills on this, but Veronica Mars I am not. Hopefully I'll be able find come Valentine's.

Quinn Fabray

February 11, 2009

Hey Diary,

Quinn Fabray is still on the case on Santana and Brittany's mystery lovers. And I've made some progress. For Santana's admirer, I've ruled out any boy who plays sports. Not to sound stereotypical, but none of them would have the brains or would go through the effort that this boy has been going through. Also, none of them would pay enough attention to Santana to know what kind of shampoo she uses or what her favorite flowers are.

It's not much, but it's a start.

And with Brittany I decided to take a slightly more direct approach. I subtly brought up the topic of her crush and asked her a few questions about him. I didn't learn to much, but I did find out that he's a bit on the short side and has a bit of a temper. And I'm not sure about this, but I think he speaks Spanish. That should narrow things down, right?

Here's hoping.

Quinn Fabray

* * *

AN: Hope you enjoyed.


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